Depression

I suppose many people are blogging about the death of comedian Robin Williams. Are they blogging about suicide or depression? What can I add to the conversation?

Well, for one thing, I have experienced depression firsthand. As a follower of Christ, I believe there is another whole dimension of depression. In addition to the typical symptoms, you often experience a crisis of faith or "a dark night of the soul" as many refer to it. The book Mother Teresa: Come Be My Light reveals that this saint experienced her own dark night. During it, God is silent, leaving you to feel as if He has abandoned you. It is not a fun place to be, trust me. My own dark night (which lasted years) began as grief after the death of two of my children. No one understood my pain. Some scriptures helped me to understand that I was not alone (see Psalm 13:1-4), others horrified me (see Lamentations 3:1-20). The whole time God refused to answer any of my questions.

The turning point came when I gave up trying to understand and I surrendered myself to His plan, no matter what. It was then that I began to move back into the light. Later I found this poem written by Amy Carmichael that I now refer to over and over again, especially when I am tempted to despair again. I hope it brings someone help.

In Acceptance Lieth Peace by Amy Carmichael

He said, “I will forget the dying faces;
The empty places—
They shall be filled again;
O voices mourning deep within me, cease.”
Vain, vain the word; vain, vain:
Not in forgetting lieth peace.

He said, “I will crowd action upon action,
The strife of faction
Shall stir my spirit to flame;
O tears that drown the fire of manhood, cease.”
Vain, vain the word; vain, vain:
Not in endeavour lieth peace.

He said, “I will withdraw me and be quiet,
Why meddle in life’s riot?
Shut be my door to pain.
Desire, thou dost befool me, thou shalt cease.”
Vain, vain the word; vain, vain:
Not in aloofness lieth peace.

He said, “I will submit; I am defeated;
God hath depleted
My life of its rich gain.
O futile murmurings; why will ye not cease?”
Vain, vain the word; vain, vain:
Not in submission lieth peace.

He said, “I will accept the breaking sorrow
Which God to-morrow
Will to His son explain.”
Then did the turmoil deep within him cease.
Not vain the word, not vain;
For in acceptance lieth peace.