Keep us from temptation

I'm taking a break from the principles that shape the Christian family because another subject has come up over and over again this week. Temptation.

Dictionary definition of temptation: something that causes a strong urge or desire to have or do something and especially something that is bad, wrong or unwise. 

I have spoken with people who are trying to quit smoking and give up video games. And I find myself struggling with food - again. So what are we to do? Can any of us overcome temptation just by self-discipline? I don't think so. An error most of us make is that we don't regularly pray "so that we won't fall into temptation" in the first place. (Matt 26:41) Once we have fallen though, it is imperative that we find out why we did so. We can rule out that it's God's fault. (James 1:13). James makes it clear that it is by our "own evil desire that we are dragged away and enticed." (James 1:14) So, what is the evil desire inside me? Control? And what is enticing me? James goes on in verses 16-17a to say "Don't be deceived, my dear brothers (so he is talking to us Christians). Every good and perfect gift is from above." Could it be that when I indulge or overindulge in something that I know I shouldn't, that I am giving myself a gift that I am afraid God won't give me? The things we try to reward ourselves with here on earth will not satisfy like the gifts from above.

Twelve Rules for Raising Delinquent Children

A fourth principle in the shaping of a Christian home is discipline. Before looking at the discipline of children, we must take a sober look at ourselves as parents. Self-discipline is a pre-requisite to disciplining children and most people struggle with self-discipline. When we don't say "No" to the abuse of alcohol, food, sex and other pleasures in our life, not only are we setting an example for our children, but we also tend to be more lenient on them. After all, how can we hold them accountable for something we ourselves aren't able to do? So how is self-discipline accomplished? Elisabeth Elliot says:

"The discipline of an adult Christian means gladly surrendering himself to the authority of Jesus Christ."

I heard John MacArthur on the radio last week and he mentioned this little leaflet with the above title that The Houston, Texas police department used to distribute back in the late 1950's.  It was a satire on parents who don’t control their children.

What the Houston Police department finds are the causes of delinquent children.
HERE THEY ARE:

1.   GIVE THE CHILD EVERYTHING HE WANTS. In this way, he will grow up to believe that the world owes him a living.

2.  WHEN HE PICKS UP BAD WORDS, LAUGH AT HIM.  This will make him think he’s cute.  It will also encourage him to pick up cuter phrases that will blow off the top of your head later.

3.  NEVER GIVE HIM ANY SPIRITUAL TRAINING.  Let him wait until he is 21 when he can “decide for himself.”

4.  AVOID USING THE WORD “WRONG.”  It may develop in him a guilt complex.  This will condition him to believe later when he is arrested for stealing that society is against him and he is being persecuted.

5.  DO EVERYTHING FOR HIM so that he will be experienced in throwing responsibility for others.

6.  LET HIM READ AND WACTH ANYTHING HE WANTS TO.  Be careful that the silverware and drinking glasses are sterilized, but let his mind feast on garbage.

7.  QUARREL FREQUENTLY IN HIS PRESENCE. In this way he will not be too shocked when his own home is broken up later.

8.  GIVE A CHILD ALL THE SPENDING MONEY HE WANTS.  Never let him earn his own.  Why should he have things as tough as you had them?

9.  SATISFY HIS EVERY CRAVING.  Denial may lead to harmful frustration.

10. TAKE HIS PART AGAINST NEIGHBORS, TEACHERS, POLICEMEN.  They are all just prejudiced against your child.

11. WHEN HE GETS INTO REAL TROUBLE, APOLOGIZE FOR YOURSELF by saying, ”I never could do anything with him.”

12. PREPARE FOR A LIFE OF GRIEF. You will be likely to have it. 

Spring Cleaning

Hudson Taylor, missionary to China for 51 years, was said to have gone through ALL his earthly possessions each year. Whatever he had not used that year, he got rid of. Now that's spring cleaning! It is also responsible use of God's gifts, another principle which is important in the shaping of a Christian family. (See previous blog posts)

I have a friend who is a missionary today. She is in Africa because of the generous support of others. She once remarked that she was very careful about each thing she purchased because she wanted to be a good steward of all those gifts. It makes me think - am I a good steward of the gifts given to me by God? Not just material gifts like food and clothes, but time, talents and relationships too.

In Matthew 25:14-30, Jesus tells the parable of the talents. It's a sobering parable, a reminder of how seriously God will judge how well we used His gifts. We would do well to teach this principle to our children.

Why work?

Another principle set forth in The Shaping of a Christian Family is work. I happened to catch an episode of Celebrity Wife Swap last night which was quite amusing. The producers select wives that are completely opposite and then have them switch homes (and husbands) for a week. In this episode, Dweezil Zappa's wife ended up in the home of baseball star, David Justice. Megan Zappa was horrified to learn that the Justice children have no chores, unlike her daughter, Mia. When Megan questions David as to why he doesn't make his children do chores, he replies that he feels they learn responsibility from playing sports. Sad to say that Megan didn't know how to respond to that. It almost looked as if she wasn't so sure anymore why she gave her daughter chores. After all, the Justice children did seem well behaved.

So why do we want our children to work? I think a good place to start is to say God worked (read Genesis). He is a pretty good example. 1 Thess. 4:11 says "Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business and work with your hands, just as we told you." Another good authority.

Not only should we all work for the good of the family, but we should do it cheerfully, without arguing and complaining. Phil. 2:14 This will teach our children responsibility and maturity. For age-appropriate chores: see this article on Family Life:
http://www.familylife.com/articles/topics/parenting/foundations/character-development/age-appropriate-chores-for-children#.U49DavldUTk

Finally, check out Dr. James Dobson's view at:
http://www.drjamesdobson.org/Solid-Answers/Answers?a=e1e3295e-89b1-4061-82d1-3c79024a27d6

My life for yours.

This week I was reminded of one of the principles that shape a Christian home and family. I read this principle "My life for yours" in Elisabeth Elliot's book The Shaping of a Christian Family.

The simplest form of this principle may be referred to as courtesy. An act of courtesy says in effect, "You matter more than I do."  I don't hear the word courtesy much anymore. Is it being taught in homes? Is it being modeled by parents? It begins by doing small things like a husband opening a car door for his wife or one sibling letting the other have the last of the ice cream. But as one matures, the principle may become more complex and costlier.

Jesus says "I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd gives his life for the sheep." John 10:11

"The price of the salvation of a home and family is sacrifice." Elisabeth Elliot 

Do I want to see the salvation of my home? As a Christ follower, am I willing to pay that price?

"Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy" Ephesians 5:25-26

How are you doing Spiritually?

Has anyone asked you this question lately? I found the following assessment in Dr. Walt Larimore's book The Highly Healthy Child, which is, unfortunately, now out of print. Since our church's motto is "In to heal. Out to love," it is important that we be moving toward health so we can go out to love. Take the test. If you are not healthy, why not? What are some changes you need to make? If you're not sure, make an appointment with your pastor. That's what he is there for!

Barna Spiritual Journey Assessment
How true is this characteristic of you?
1 = Not at all or never
2 = Not much or rarely
3 = Somewhat or occasionally
4 = Often or usually
5 = Completely or always

1. You maintain an intense level of respect, awe, humility, and gratitude toward God-in acknowledgement of his superiority and perfection. _____
2. You effectively share the substance of your faith with people who have an interest in it. _____
3.You pray for the needs and future of others. _____
4. The choices and decisions you make are based on spiritual principles and values. _____
5. Your speech and behavior pleases God. _____
6. When you pray, you both speak and listen to God. _____
7. Worship is not just an event you attend-you try to live your life as an act of worship to God. _____
8. You are held morally and spiritually accountable by others who know and care for you. _____
9. You give away your time, abilities, and money sacrificially for the benefit of the needy. _____
10. You fight injustice and inequality. _____
11. You strive to live out the "Golden Rule"-to love other people as you want them to love you. _____
12. Your attitudes, values, and thoughts please God. _____

Add up your score. A score of forty-eight or higher indicates you are likely to be spiritually healthy; a score of twenty-four or lower indicates you may not be spiritually healthy.

I'm the one doing this to me.

My small group leader has said that we all really know what to do in any given situation. When we struggle with something it's because we really don't want to do what we know we should. When I felt prompted (by God) to give more money to the church, I prayed about it (how silly, when it was God who told me what to do in the first place), I asked my husband what he thought (he was no help - he told me to do what I thought God wanted and I already knew that) and then I put it off for a while (hoping God would forget). My SELF did not want to give the extra money. The struggle against my own will, my pride, is real. I am not saying that we don't struggle. Jesus struggled so strongly (over what He already knew to do) that He sweated drops of blood. (Luke 22:44) However, "The demanding of my own will is the singular force that smothers out joy-nothing else." "I'm the one doing this to me."1 So what's the answer? What did Jesus do? He died to His own will and He trusted the Father's will, no matter how bad it looked at that moment.  "Fullness of joy is discovered only in the emptying of will."2 And trusting God. Whether we are 13 or 30.
1One Thousand Gifts page 177
2One Thousand Gifts page 179