Authority

In Acts 19:15 there is a fascinating account of some Jewish itinerant exorcists who were trying to drive out evil spirits using the name of Jesus. The evil spirits recognized that they had no authority to do this. One evil spirit actually spoke out and said to the exorcist:

"Jesus I know, and I know about Paul, but who are you?"

This is powerful and sobering. In Titus 2: 15, Paul says to Titus:

"These, then are the things you should teach. Encourage and rebuke with all authority. Do not let anyone despise you."

Only true believers in Christ have the right to encourage and rebuke with authority. One way to exercise that right is in the home. I often said to our son while he was growing up that if he learned to obey us while under our authority, then, when he left our home, he would be more likely to obey God's authority. There is also a lot more weight using the authority of God's Word to rebuke a child for lying than just telling him that you don't like him doing it or worse "because you said so!"

As a child gets older, it is preferable to lead him to the Word of God and have him discover himself what God says about lying. Of course this is only effective if, as parents, you have already established the authority of God's Word in your own lives and in your home. If your child sees you lying, with no fear of God's discipline, why would he fear yours? If you delay obedience to a command, don't be surprised when your child does not pay attention to you the first time.

Two ways to deal with fear

I am in 2 Chronicles this week. I love to study the lives of the kings of Israel and Judah because their lives are such great examples to me of what I should or shouldn't do. They deal with some of the very same things I deal with. Take fear. It is very real, but how we respond to it is what God looks at.

Asa, king of Judah, had a heart that was loyal to God (2 Chron. 15:17). When Zerah the Ethiopian came out against him and he cried out to God, he was victorious. (2 Chron. 14:11-15) God blessed Asa with peace and rest until his 36th year as king. But then, when Baasha, king of Israel came up against him, Asa turned to another king for help instead of calling on God. God, through the seer Hanani, rebuked Asa and told him that from then on he would have wars. (16:9). What not to do? Rely on man. What to do? Cry out to God! Look at Asa's prayer of faith before his victory in Chapter 14:

"LORD, it is nothing for You to help, whether with many or with those who have no power; help us, O LORD our God, for we rest on You, and in Your Name we go against the multitude. O LORD, You are God; do not let man prevail against You!" 2 Chron. 14:11

King Jehosophat, the son of Asa, had similar problems to his father. Even though he "took delight in the ways of the LORD" (17: 6) Jehosophat aligned himself with Ahab, the wicked king of Israel. He too was rebuked by a seer (19:2). However, in 2 Chron. 20, he had learned his lesson. Instead of turning to man for help, Jehosophat "set himeself to seek the LORD, and proclaimed a fast throughout all Judah. So all Judah gathered together to ask help from the LORD." (2 Chron 20:3-4) Read Jehosophat's incredible prayer in verses 5-12 of Chapter 20. My favorite line from that prayer is in verse 12:

"For we have no power against this great multitude that is coming against us; nor do we know what to do, but our eyes are upon You."

Dead men don't struggle

The above title is said to be a saying of D.L. Moody. I've thought about it a lot this past week because I am in the middle of a struggle. Most often we perceive struggle as a negative thing, but in reality it is not negative at all. It shows that we are alive! If I were not alive in Christ, I would not care about temptation. I would not even give a thought to leaving my past behind and fighting to enter a new "Life Gate*."

"Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself to yet taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." Philippians 3:13-14

*"Life Gate" is a term used by Tom Paterson in his extremely powerful, inspired book Living the Life You Were Meant to Live 

Keep us from temptation

I'm taking a break from the principles that shape the Christian family because another subject has come up over and over again this week. Temptation.

Dictionary definition of temptation: something that causes a strong urge or desire to have or do something and especially something that is bad, wrong or unwise. 

I have spoken with people who are trying to quit smoking and give up video games. And I find myself struggling with food - again. So what are we to do? Can any of us overcome temptation just by self-discipline? I don't think so. An error most of us make is that we don't regularly pray "so that we won't fall into temptation" in the first place. (Matt 26:41) Once we have fallen though, it is imperative that we find out why we did so. We can rule out that it's God's fault. (James 1:13). James makes it clear that it is by our "own evil desire that we are dragged away and enticed." (James 1:14) So, what is the evil desire inside me? Control? And what is enticing me? James goes on in verses 16-17a to say "Don't be deceived, my dear brothers (so he is talking to us Christians). Every good and perfect gift is from above." Could it be that when I indulge or overindulge in something that I know I shouldn't, that I am giving myself a gift that I am afraid God won't give me? The things we try to reward ourselves with here on earth will not satisfy like the gifts from above.

Twelve Rules for Raising Delinquent Children

A fourth principle in the shaping of a Christian home is discipline. Before looking at the discipline of children, we must take a sober look at ourselves as parents. Self-discipline is a pre-requisite to disciplining children and most people struggle with self-discipline. When we don't say "No" to the abuse of alcohol, food, sex and other pleasures in our life, not only are we setting an example for our children, but we also tend to be more lenient on them. After all, how can we hold them accountable for something we ourselves aren't able to do? So how is self-discipline accomplished? Elisabeth Elliot says:

"The discipline of an adult Christian means gladly surrendering himself to the authority of Jesus Christ."

I heard John MacArthur on the radio last week and he mentioned this little leaflet with the above title that The Houston, Texas police department used to distribute back in the late 1950's.  It was a satire on parents who don’t control their children.

What the Houston Police department finds are the causes of delinquent children.
HERE THEY ARE:

1.   GIVE THE CHILD EVERYTHING HE WANTS. In this way, he will grow up to believe that the world owes him a living.

2.  WHEN HE PICKS UP BAD WORDS, LAUGH AT HIM.  This will make him think he’s cute.  It will also encourage him to pick up cuter phrases that will blow off the top of your head later.

3.  NEVER GIVE HIM ANY SPIRITUAL TRAINING.  Let him wait until he is 21 when he can “decide for himself.”

4.  AVOID USING THE WORD “WRONG.”  It may develop in him a guilt complex.  This will condition him to believe later when he is arrested for stealing that society is against him and he is being persecuted.

5.  DO EVERYTHING FOR HIM so that he will be experienced in throwing responsibility for others.

6.  LET HIM READ AND WACTH ANYTHING HE WANTS TO.  Be careful that the silverware and drinking glasses are sterilized, but let his mind feast on garbage.

7.  QUARREL FREQUENTLY IN HIS PRESENCE. In this way he will not be too shocked when his own home is broken up later.

8.  GIVE A CHILD ALL THE SPENDING MONEY HE WANTS.  Never let him earn his own.  Why should he have things as tough as you had them?

9.  SATISFY HIS EVERY CRAVING.  Denial may lead to harmful frustration.

10. TAKE HIS PART AGAINST NEIGHBORS, TEACHERS, POLICEMEN.  They are all just prejudiced against your child.

11. WHEN HE GETS INTO REAL TROUBLE, APOLOGIZE FOR YOURSELF by saying, ”I never could do anything with him.”

12. PREPARE FOR A LIFE OF GRIEF. You will be likely to have it. 

Spring Cleaning

Hudson Taylor, missionary to China for 51 years, was said to have gone through ALL his earthly possessions each year. Whatever he had not used that year, he got rid of. Now that's spring cleaning! It is also responsible use of God's gifts, another principle which is important in the shaping of a Christian family. (See previous blog posts)

I have a friend who is a missionary today. She is in Africa because of the generous support of others. She once remarked that she was very careful about each thing she purchased because she wanted to be a good steward of all those gifts. It makes me think - am I a good steward of the gifts given to me by God? Not just material gifts like food and clothes, but time, talents and relationships too.

In Matthew 25:14-30, Jesus tells the parable of the talents. It's a sobering parable, a reminder of how seriously God will judge how well we used His gifts. We would do well to teach this principle to our children.

Why work?

Another principle set forth in The Shaping of a Christian Family is work. I happened to catch an episode of Celebrity Wife Swap last night which was quite amusing. The producers select wives that are completely opposite and then have them switch homes (and husbands) for a week. In this episode, Dweezil Zappa's wife ended up in the home of baseball star, David Justice. Megan Zappa was horrified to learn that the Justice children have no chores, unlike her daughter, Mia. When Megan questions David as to why he doesn't make his children do chores, he replies that he feels they learn responsibility from playing sports. Sad to say that Megan didn't know how to respond to that. It almost looked as if she wasn't so sure anymore why she gave her daughter chores. After all, the Justice children did seem well behaved.

So why do we want our children to work? I think a good place to start is to say God worked (read Genesis). He is a pretty good example. 1 Thess. 4:11 says "Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business and work with your hands, just as we told you." Another good authority.

Not only should we all work for the good of the family, but we should do it cheerfully, without arguing and complaining. Phil. 2:14 This will teach our children responsibility and maturity. For age-appropriate chores: see this article on Family Life:
http://www.familylife.com/articles/topics/parenting/foundations/character-development/age-appropriate-chores-for-children#.U49DavldUTk

Finally, check out Dr. James Dobson's view at:
http://www.drjamesdobson.org/Solid-Answers/Answers?a=e1e3295e-89b1-4061-82d1-3c79024a27d6